Can I have a refund on this diary,
I can’t find a use for it now.
Perhaps you would kindly exchange it
For a handful of beans, or a cow?

I thought I might have some appointments
Or a ticket to head for a show –
But look, all these pages are empty,
For I simply have nowhere to go.

My trips to the shops aren’t exciting
Since nobody will stop for a chat,
To saunter on streets seems inviting,
But once my hour’s up – that is that!

I don’t own a lead for a doggy
Come to that – I don’t have a dog,
I just have these four walls to stare at,
Then I knock back a tankard of grog.

This diary is plainly redundant,
It holds not a fact nor a fable,
Were it thinner by six millimetres
I would use it to level this table.

When one day seems just like another
There’s no point in jotting that down,
Perhaps I should start a petition
Or move to a more vibrant town?

As a consumer, I surely have rights,
So could a charity help my enquiries?
Let’s form a rebellious collective,
And get refunds for all our blank diaries